Plague-like Symptoms
Monday, Dec. 27, 2004
I am battling plague-like symptoms today. Others have suggested that I merely have a cold, but I refuse to rule out the possibility of imminent death. Then again, it could be the flu, the popular illness that seems to sit somewhere between having a cold and having to make funeral arrangements. I’m not sure what officially constitutes a flu however. A cold is rather easily pinpointed and death is a “no-brainer” as they say. The flu though- will we ever really understand it? I’m told puking is often involved. I haven’t experienced this yet during this current bout with illness. This might have something to do with the fact that I have eaten very little over the past few days and as a result have very little to spray around the room. I have however noticed that my cheekbones are slowly becoming more well-defined. Dammit- I’m gonna be at this thing.
In between this paragraph and the last, I decided to run out and do a few errands. While I was out, a bird shit on my new polar fleece jacket. My mom got me the polar fleece jacket in question for Christmas. It is the kind gift that says “I love you but this was on sale.” Despite not really thinking of myself as a “polar fleece kind of guy”, I am surprised how much I am enjoying it however. In fact, I have rarely taken it off since I took it out of the bag two days ago.
Until the bird shit on it that is.
After the incident, I rushed home to handwash my new polar fleece jacket in the tub. It’s drying now. With any luck, I’ll sleep in it once again tonight. I’m told having a bird shit on you is good luck. I’m counting on it. Still, I’m hoping it doesn’t happen again any time soon. A bird with that kind of aim is bound to catch me right in the eye one of these days.
I am battling plague-like symptoms today. Others have suggested that I merely have a cold, but I refuse to rule out the possibility of imminent death. Then again, it could be the flu, the popular illness that seems to sit somewhere between having a cold and having to make funeral arrangements. I’m not sure what officially constitutes a flu however. A cold is rather easily pinpointed and death is a “no-brainer” as they say. The flu though- will we ever really understand it? I’m told puking is often involved. I haven’t experienced this yet during this current bout with illness. This might have something to do with the fact that I have eaten very little over the past few days and as a result have very little to spray around the room. I have however noticed that my cheekbones are slowly becoming more well-defined. Dammit- I’m gonna be at this thing.
In between this paragraph and the last, I decided to run out and do a few errands. While I was out, a bird shit on my new polar fleece jacket. My mom got me the polar fleece jacket in question for Christmas. It is the kind gift that says “I love you but this was on sale.” Despite not really thinking of myself as a “polar fleece kind of guy”, I am surprised how much I am enjoying it however. In fact, I have rarely taken it off since I took it out of the bag two days ago.
Until the bird shit on it that is.
After the incident, I rushed home to handwash my new polar fleece jacket in the tub. It’s drying now. With any luck, I’ll sleep in it once again tonight. I’m told having a bird shit on you is good luck. I’m counting on it. Still, I’m hoping it doesn’t happen again any time soon. A bird with that kind of aim is bound to catch me right in the eye one of these days.
posted by Dave Hill at 6:40 PM
1 Comments:
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