Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Original Pancake House Takes No Shit

The plague-symptoms continue today. I have a hacking cough that seems to get me a lot of attention wherever I go. I’m not proud of this- I’m merely pointing out this to be the case. The reactions I’ve been getting from the hacking cough range anywhere from a look that seems to say “Oh , you poor fella!” to “Please step away from me and my children now. Even without the cough, it is my sense that you are unclean.” Things got particularly exciting when I flew from New York City to my native Cleveland this morning. People looked at me like I was a walking petri dish, standing by to inoculate them when they least expected it. I didn’t dare go into Cinnabon prior to boarding.

As fate would have it, my parents were also flying into Cleveland today. They had been visiting my brother in Connecticut, where he has a house and cars and a family and everything. Since we were both going back to their house, my parents offered to give me a ride home. I offered to do the driving. After all, with all the money I am hoping to borrow from them, it was the least I could do.

On the drive home, my mother suggested we stop off at “that pancake place” which was apparently a new establishment in town that my mom and dad had been frequenting lately. The prospect of pancakes is always exciting on some level so I happily went along with it, especially when my dad pointed out that pancakes weren’t the only thing this place was serving up on a regular basis. There was also talk of crepes.

As it turns out, the official name of “that pancake place” is the Original Pancake House. There is a small circle with an “R” in it next to the word original on the sign in the window. That means that none of the other bullshit pancake houses that are riding on the coattails of the Original Pancake House and can just go calling themselves original too. That shit is trademarked. I’m guessing something must have gone down at some point that the Original® Pancake House felt they needed to trademark the word original in their name. I don’t blame them. If I were working around the clock to bring people the tastiest pancakes and crepes the people Cleveland have ever seen, you can bet your ass I would take no shit from anyone. If someone else thought they could just go calling their pancake house "original" too, they would have what I like to call "another thing coming."

At the Original® Pancake House I had the blueberry pancakes. I didn’t eat too much of them though. It is never easy to eat in the presence of asskickers.

Dave Hill


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