The King of Google

It is with great pride that I report that after several years of Googling myself on an almost daily basis (there were some days when I didn’t have computer access), I have finally shown up in the top ten of all Dave Hills on the Internet. Actually, I am number five at the moment, which is up from just yesterday when I was six. If I can take out the Dave Hill that plays jazz guitar in California or the Dave Hill that is- according to him anyway- the world’s greatest hypnotist and illusionist, I should have a clear shot at the #1 slot in no time. Then again I could simply become the world’s greatest hypnotist and illusionist in my own right and perhaps jump a couple spots that way. I’m guessing the Dave Hill that currently fancies himself the world’s greatest hypnotist and illusionist would pretty much lose it if I did that. “Oh, you’re an illusionist alright!,” I’ll say to him. “If by illusionist you mean that you are under the illusion that you are nearly as great a hypnotist as I am! Plus, I am more popular on Google than you now, so fuck you!” I can’t wait to have it out with Dave Hill, the so-called world’s great hypnotist and illusionist. Fuck you, Dave! Let’s see you make this disappear!

There is another Dave Hill who shows up ahead of me on Google who merely has a blog and doesn’t appear to be the world’s greatest anything whatsoever. I am pretty sure I can take him. Other Dave Hill’s threatening to do battle with me on the Google search engine include the Dave Hill who was in the British arena rock band Slade, Dave Hill the former baseball player, and Dave Hill, the British actor who appeared in such popular films as “The Full Monty,” “Sin Bin,” and “Digital Lust” (nice work, Dave!). I saw “The Full Monty” once and it is my sense that Dave was incredible. Still, he is not as popular as me on Google. And that has made all the difference.

Dave Hill