Los Angeles Invasion In Motherf#@king Review

I just spent the past six days in scenic Los Angeles and then flew back to NYC on a big plane with a whole bunch of other people, many of whom were wearing Dockers. It was a fun and busy week in L.A. and was full of all shorts of show business mayhem and general fucking up of shit and then taking that shit that I just fucked up to the next level. I did a show at the Hollywood Improv on Tuesday that was pretty fun and then spent the rest of the week taking high-powered show business meeting with high-powered show business executives. Most of the meetings involved drinking bottled water and talking about myself and then listening to other people talk about me for an hour or so. Since staying hydrated, talking about myself, and listening to other people talk about me are three of my favorite things, I pretty much never got tired of it.

The rest of my time in Los Angeles was spent eating and drinking stuff and hanging out at my friend Tig’s house in scenic Venice. One night there was an earthquake but somehow I failed to notice it. I think I might have been on the freeway at the time so maybe I just thought it was my rental car acting up or something. Shit- I would have really liked to experience the earthquake. Maybe next time. For the record though, I have experienced two earthquakes in my lifetime, both in Cleveland of all places (a non-earthquake town, generally speaking). They were minor earthquakes and felt pretty much like there was a big truck driving by the house or something, but they were earthquakes nonetheless and honestly I can’t stop talking about it.

Anyway, one night during my six-day assault on Los Angeles, I went to see my friend Adrian’s band Tab (the band) at the Echo, a cool rock club in Echo Park that it turns out is run by my friend Liz, which was a nice surprise as I hadn’t seen her in a long time. Tab rocked balls in the full-on rock style that most people can’t even handle and I was loving that shit. Adrian had on cool white shoes and his bass tone was just like John Entwistle’s, which is pretty much as good as it gets if you ask me. If you get a chance, go watch Tab rock your balls off. It’s good stuff. And I usually hate everything.

After watching Tab rock balls, I went to a bar/restaurant down the street called Taix and had a drink with my friends Scott and Brett. There was a band setting up to play and at first we were all like “Fuck it- we might have to stab these guys” since we just wanted to talk and not have a band be playing next to our heads. But then they fired it up and we kind of liked them after all and decided not to stab them. Then we all went home.

In other news, I woke up this morning wondering why I was so full. Then I looked over on my desk to discover an empty Ben & Jerry’s container (Coffee Heath Bar Crunch). I pulled the covers over my head in shame. Still, I know the freezer section will call out to me again soon and I will answer that call with a motherfucking tablespoon. F it.

Anyway, now I’m back in New York City and am getting ready to fuck this place up some more. I think I’ll take a nap first though. F it.

Dave Hill