Miami, Vegas, Monkeys, Fish, And Other Stuff Like That

I am flying somewhere between New York City (where I just moved into a new apartment, which is exciting, exhausting, and other stuff, as anyone who has ever moved from one place to another will tell you) and scenic Las Vegas, land of dreams, as I type this. I haven’t been able to write much here in my electronic journal type thing that much lately as I have been super busy, what with moving and a whole bunch of other stuff on top of all that.

I just got back from a week in the exciting worldwide vacation destination of Miami, where I am taping my very own television program for the futuristic high-definition television network INHD (or In Demand as it is also known). Howard Stern is also on this channel so I figure I am in good company and whatnot. I will write more about the show and what it’s called and all that in a few weeks when I am done taping it and am ready to shift from work mode to non-stop media blitz mode.

Anyway, the picture at the top of this entry is of some monkeys I saw while I was taping my exciting TV show in Miami. I don’t want to spoil it, but there are monkeys on my TV show. How awesome is that shit? Yeah, I know- pretty awesome. If you like shows with me and monkeys on them, you could do a lot worse than to watch my show when it comes on the television next year. You have to have a high-definition television to watch it though since it is on a high-definition television network. That’s just how these things go. Also, my friend Phil is on the show with me. He rules like a motherfucker.

Getting back to the Las Vegas stuff mentioned in paragraph one of this entry, I am going there to interview all sorts of popular celebrities in the popular talk show format that has taken over the nation and also parts of Canada during the Comedy Festival (that is the official name, note the capital letters) and Comic Relief, the popular comedy event for charity. I am doing this stuff for HBO, the premium cable television network that has also brought you “The Sopranos,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Cathouse: The Series,” and then a whole bunch of other shows besides those. It is going to be good times. I hope I don’t screw it up. I have brought lots of hot outfits, which is really half the battle when it comes to such things.

I have been to Las Vegas a couple times before in my life. I generally don’t like too much. It feels like being at the mall and not being able to leave or something, only there is gambling and a lot more old people. There are also a lot of people wearing jean shorts and colorful shirts that suggest that the wearer is not exactly opposed to the idea of good times all the time. “Waitress, I’ll take another Corona when you get a chance.” That sort of thing. I wish I had been around to experience the more romantic and glamorous Las Vegas that we, as Americans, tend to associate with the Rat Pack and other guys who have been immortalized in black and white photos (suitable for framing) over the years. But who knows- maybe the Vegas of that era was equally annoying in its own way. Here’s to never really knowing for sure. But I plan to accentuate the positive this time around and have an excellent time. I’m excited about the work I’m doing out here so as long as I avoid buying a fanny pack or something I should be in good shape. I’ll keep you posted.

Hmm, what else? Oh shit, the flight attendant just said something about getting into crash position. No, just kidding. That was a joke to suggest that the plane is crashing or something as I typing this. That would be negative.

In closing, the picture directly above where I am typing right now is of a big fish that was swimming in the water by the monkeys in the picture up top. This fish was huge, almost bigger than the monkeys. I imagine they must have all sorts of fun together, the fish and the monkeys. That's just how it goes in the animal kingdom when the humans aren't around.

Dave Hill