Toilet For A King

This past weekend, while walking in the rain down 11th Avenue, I happened upon a display window for a general contracting business. It was there I spotted this toilet for a king, complete with what appears to be the padding from a Barcalounger with a big hole cut in it above the toilet bowl so the lucky owner can crap in absolute comfort and style. Since captains of industry can’t be slowed down by bodily functions, the toilet also comes with a circa-1998 laptop and cordless telephone mounted on a glass desk (so you can still look down at your crotch while you crap/make important deals. Hey- business magnates are no different from us in that regard). I’m guessing the current Wall Street situation has maybe slowed down sales of this incredible toilet, but once the whole mess is sorted out this general contracting business will be ready to make luxury shitting a reality for those who expect the best. Mark my words- I will own this toilet some day. And there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me!

Dave Hill