The Past Few Days In Review

Mondays- am I right or am I right? Today is my first day back at world domination since the extended holiday break (a time during which I somehow still managed to largely dominate the entire planet despite not really trying all that much) and boy am I excited. As for the past few days (which is to say New Year’s and all that), however, I have been eating a lot and going to see movies.

On New Year’s Day (or maybe it was the day after), I went to see “Milk,” starring Hollywood’s Sean Pean in the title role of Harvey Milk. It was the gayest (literally!) and greatest movie I have seen in a while (with the possible exception of the movie I watched on cable the night before in which two ladies totally ended up lezzing out together). You should totally go see it. It will make you believe in the possibilities of people and goodness. Also, Sean Penn totally makes out with that dude from “Pineapple Express” in the movie. I never saw it coming.

On Saturday afternoon, I went to see the hit movie “The Wrestler,” starring cosmetic surgery’s Mickey Rourke, who is seriously great in this movie despite being largely unrecognizable from his earlier work. As hinted at in the title, “The Wrestler” is about a wrestler. Count me in. Also, Marisa Tomei shows her boobs in the movie (more than once! Thanks, Marisa!). My comedy friends Todd Barry and Judah Friedlander are also great in the movie, despite the fact that neither of them end up in a state of undress at any point.

On Saturday night, I saw “Hostel II,” which- as hinted at in the title- is the sequel to the hit movie “Hostel.” Against all statistical likelihood, I had already seen “Hostel,” so when I saw “Hostel II” was playing on cable, I had to jump right in. Not unlike “Hostel” (or “Hostel I” as it known to us diehards), “Hostel II” is about a hostel in Europe where people get kidnapped and then later sold to a slaughterhouse where crazy rich people pay to come methodically torture and kill people, something that the victims are rarely very happy about. As you can probably imagine though, the bad guys usually get their come uppance in the end and goodness is (sort of) restored (but never enough to rule out the possibility of another incredible sequel).

Of the many highlights of the hit movie “Hostel II,” probably the greatest was seeing the star of the hit movie “Welcome to the Dollhouse” (you know, that nerdy girl) get hung upside down fully naked and killed (not that I wish her harm- I was just glad to see her in any context). It seems like it might have been a bad career move for her, but still it was one I could not look away from. “Okay, I’ll do it,” one can’t help but imagine her saying to the casting director as she opted to let the call from her local temp agency go straight to voicemail. Show business can be a cruel mistress.

Here’s to hoping someone somewhere is writing the screenplay to “Hostel III” at this very moment. Fingers crossed.

Dave Hill