The Aristocrats

Last night I went to see the popular film “The Aristocrats” at one of the several movie theatres located in my popular Brooklyn neighborhood. I went to see the movie by myself. Some people think this is sad but it seems more and more that that’s how I do it. Usually when someone asks me to go see a movie I say no because if I’m gonna hang out with someone, I’d rather talk to them and stuff instead of just sitting in silence in a movie theater. Sure, we can talk after the movie and stuff, but hopefully you see my point. Also, if you go see a movie by yourself, you don’t have to worry about anyone trying to steal your candy or anything. I like that extra safety.

Anyway, “The Aristocrats” was really good and I definitely recommend you go see it instead of that penguin movie that is probably showing at the same theatre. For the uninitiated, “The Aristocrats” is a documentary in which a bunch of comedians talk about a legendary, mostly improvised joke that is dirtier than any other joke ever. The movie has some of my favorite people in it too- Fred Willard, Harry Shearer, Michael McKean, and Joe Franklin to name a few. There are also a lot of Cleveland guys (the town where I’m from), like Fred Willard, Martin Mull, and Drew Carey, so that was exciting to me on some level too.

“The Aristocrats” is roughly 89 minutes long. There were times when I wished it were a little shorter, but that’s mostly because I was kind of drunk and for some reason the Milk Duds that I bought before the movie had a weird minty taste to them. I’m guessing this was because the Milk Duds box was packed right next to the Junior Mints in the candy display case out front or something. Anyway, I wasn’t into the mix of caramel and mint. There is a reason why the two have stayed separate for so long. Then again, I guess it was kind of good that my Milk Duds tasted minty because then I wasn’t able to finish the whole box. It’s this sort of thing that helps me stay in really great shape all the time.

In other news, last night I had a weird dream in which I was somehow talked into robbing a bodega out of roughly 900 dollars with two other guys I didn’t really know. We didn’t have a gun or anything, but instead incorporated a lot of trickery into the situation and somehow were able to life 900 dollars from the register. Since it was a dream and all, the details are kind of fuzzy. I do remember that I felt really bad about stealing the money and was really worried about getting caught and going to prison and all that. In both real life and my dream state, I am generally opposed to getting locked up in a correctional facility of any sort. Anyway, if there are any dream analyzing types out there, please feel free to write in with whatever insights you might have about my crazy dream where I rob a bodega with two other thugs.

Dave Hill