The Dave Hill Explosion w/The Gastineau Girls This Thurs. at UCB Theatre. You Better Come Or I Will Freak Out.

Dear friends, colleagues, and other people with Internet access:

I just wanted remind you once again that this Thursday night, Dec. 15 at 11pm, my thoughtful and provocative nightclub act The Dave Hill Explosion will be exploding for the very last time in the year I have taken to calling 2005 at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (located at 307 West 26th Street, right down the street from Dallas BBQ on 8th Avenue, where it is pretty much impossible not to have a really great time). If you are a fan of sitting in a dark room with a bunch of other people while I do my best to draw attention to myself for approximately 35 minutes straight, coming to my show is seriously the best possible way you could spend your Thursday evening. Admittedly, I will be standing on a lighted stage all by myself for most of the show, so the drawing-attention-to-myself thing will not be all that hard, but that does not mean I am going to skimp on the entertainment in any way whatsoever. I am going to talk, sing, dance, read stuff, show a couple short movies, and do a bunch of other stuff that is so entertaining in general that you are probably going to have to go into counseling immediately afterwards just to help you adjust back to your normal life. No sh*t. As if all of that is not enough, my special guests on Thursday are going to be Lisa and Brittny Gastineau, the mother/daughter team who are perhaps best known to Americans everywhere as the Gastineau Girls, stars of the popular show of the same name. It is at this point that you are probably thinking to yourself “Great, I am going to have to shell out like seven million dollars to see a show this incredible.” And to that I am all like “No, it is FREE.” And to that you are probably all like “Dave, how do you do it?” And then to that I am all like “You know what, if I knew I would be cleaning up at the Learning Annex right now or something.” Let us just enjoy ourselves. You seem really nice. Anyway, I hope you can make it this Thursday. You can reserve the FREE tickets for yourself and your loved ones if you are so inclined at ucbt.net, which is a website. Also, I am going to give a free large pizza to the first 150 audience members.* Take that, Oprah.

Yours in showbiz,
Dave Hill

*This part is not true and was just added at the last second for dramatic effect. I might have snacks though. Still thinking about it.