Ain't No Trip To Cleveland. Wait, No, Actually It Is.

I’ve just returned from a short visit to my hometown of Cleveland on my way back from scenic Miami. It was good times all around. I mostly just slept and whatnot, but that’s kind of what I needed more than anything after ruling the fuck out of Miami for a few days. Sometimes even I need a break from the glamour and whatnot.

Aside from taking a lot of naps, I saw a few friends and their new kids, who were a lot bigger than the last time I saw them. Some of them even stopped wearing diapers. Speaking of which, I also went to my Aunt Helen’s 90th birthday party. 90! Holy shit. I wonder if I’ll ever be that old. Some days I hope so, some days I hope not. Anyway, the party was good times and surprisingly rocking for a 90th birthday party. My aunt is really healthy too, so much in fact that she seemed in a lot better shape than some of the 70 and 80 year-olds that were on the scene. And no, she doesn’t wear diapers. What the hell is wrong with you? I was just using that as a clever transition. It was too easy, couldn’t pass it up. Anyway, I’ll have to find out what her secret to life and living is.

While I was home, I also saw the hit movie “Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man,” which- as the title suggests- is about the great songwriter Leonard Cohen. It was really good and full of all sorts of familiar faces singing Leonard Cohen songs and talking about Leonard Cohen. Leonard does some talking too and seems like a really cool guy. At the end, he sings a song with U2 and then you’re all like “Damn, I wish that motherfucker would get out there and play some shows.” Maybe he will. In the meantime, go see the movie.

One thing I had hoped to do while I was home was to stop by Great Lakes Brewery in the Ohio City section of Cleveland, but I didn’t have time. It’s one of my favorite microbreweries in the country (Bell’s and Rogue are my other two faves). It’s not some bullshit place either, like Heartland Brewery, or something. It’s the real thing- you can buy that shit in stores. I’ve been going there since I was a teenager (shhhh). Anyway, as fate would have it, the Great Lakes Brewery operates a little bar at the airport in Cleveland and it turned out to be right across from my gate. I had some time to kill so I stopped in for a drink. I didn’t feel like having a drink, but I figured this would be my last chance to have any Great Lakes beer (they don’t sell it in New York as far as I know) for a while so I decided to saddle up anyway. I got a big Edmund Fitzgerald Porter, which is my favorite by them. After the bartender served me my beer she offered to pour me a shot for an extra two bucks. I turned it down but I was happy to get the offer. That’s one of the things I love about Cleveland- it’s a cheap date. Or I guess maybe I am. Either way, it’s working for both of us.

Dave Hill