Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wednesdays. Tell Me About It.


Hump day- am I right? If I had a job somewhere I imagine I would be walking around the office trying to figure out my fantasy football picks or something. But since I don’t have a job to go to, I am just sitting here in a coffee shop plotting, planning, and not really knowing how fantasy football or any of that stuff really works. I say all of this not to criticize going to a workplace or being involved in fantasy football. I say this more to point out that I wasn’t even wearing pants until about a half hour ago. What the point of pointing that out is, however, remains to be seen. I am a sad little man who is just sitting here typing.

The past couple days have been action-packed as far as Mondays and Tuesdays generally tend to go. On Monday night, I hosted the popular CBS/NYC show at the popular Mo Pitkins nightclub over there on Avenue A. It was a fun show with a great lineup that included Amelie Gillette, who did a great powerpoint presentation that included a molestery pony; Kurt Braunohler, who did an awesome communist cat-themed bit; Kevin Williams, who was hilarious and hates Sandra Oh; Larry Murphy and Greg Johnson doing an excellent Marlon Brando sketch that involved Larry in a bathrobe; and an abbreviated version of Children of the Unicorn that had Phil and Jake singing and playing along to a CD. Adding to the mayhem of the evening was that my friend Holly brought her two-legged Chihuahua to the show again, making it the second show in less than a week during which I had a two-legged Chihuahua on stage with me and was not really sure what to do about all of that. Two-legged Chihuahuas- will we ever really understand them? After the show, Holly and her friend explained to me that the Chihuahua (named Roo in reference to her kangaroo-like appearance) was soon to be fitted with prosthetic front legs. That seemed like a great idea to me until they told me the guy fitting Roo with the prosthetic legs goes by the name of Mangina. As names of people I would trust to fit me with prosthetic legs go, Mangina is pretty far down on the list. I say this not to knock Mangina’s prosthetic leg-fitting capabilities in any way. I just think he should go by the name of Dr. Richard Metzger, M.D. (a really good doctor name I just came up with) or something if he’s going to be doing that sort of thing. Anyway, I hope everything works out great for everybody and soon Roo is running around and having fun on her little Mangina legs as if she had come into this world that way.

In other news, last night I filled in at the last minute as the DJ/sidekick on Seth Herzog’s popular “Sweet” show at the Slipper Room. The popular actor Justin Long was supposed to do it but then had to cancel at the last minute so Dave to the rescue like a motherfucker, dammit! It was fun times and a really funny show that included Dan Levy, Reggie Watts, Eric Andre, and Rob Cantrell, Seth, and, of course, Seth’s mom. I had never seen Dan or Rob before and they were both great. Reggie and Eric were also great as usual and easily had better hair than anyone else on the bill. After the show, I got to hook up my iTunes to the sound system and totally be the DJ for the rest of the night. I did my best to play some sweet jams. I hope I succeeded.

In still other news, here is a nice review of my Explosion show last week at the UCB Theatre. Thanks to Hy (at HyReviews.com) for coming to the show, liking it, and then totally writing about how he came to the show and liked it. It’s that sort of thing that keeps me off the ledge. Well, that and knowing that we live a world where there is a guy named Mangina making fake little Chihuahua legs somewhere as I type this. Life is beautiful.

Dave Hill

4 Comments:

Anonymous justltl said...

Uh...that's all very interesting, Dave, but what about Bruv World?

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ANAL?

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I apologise in advance for this message cos I'm pretty sure it'll just be free-association type bullshit. First off, I am amazed you have Fantasy Football in America. You mean with American Football? The phrase just took me back to 1996, which was the last time I tried to give a shit about big soccer tournaments. I realise people play fantasy football all the time but for me it means 1996 and the pinnacle of Baddiel and Skinner's career.
Today I was up and about fairly early- about 9.30am, I managed something of a record for the past week in what time I stopped wearing a dressing gown - 1:35pm. One step at a time I intend to rejoin the human race.
The other week an announcer on ITV (the piss-poor but second most popular network in Britain) blew my mind by reminding us that a film would be on later starring Marlon Brandon! Then she did it again in the next ad-break. This is someone, working in the fucking media, who doesn't know Marlon Brando's real fucking name! Gobshite. And no cunt working there told her what mistake she'd made! I couldn't stop telling people about it but no one else seemed to give a flying fuck. Sorry I'm in a sweary mood today. Maybe it's getting up so damn early.

JCE x

4:40 PM  
Anonymous justltl said...

Excuse me, JCE x, but that post made no fucking sense whatsoever.
Are you like a stroke victim or something?
Anyway, back to more important matters here.

I think I get the downlow here, Dave.
We're talking money here, aren't we?
Moolah. Cash. Greenbacks.
Right?
You big time celebrities are all the same these days. I remember the good old days when celebrities would be more than happy to sign an autograph or a baseball or collector's plate or something for free. Now the their balls go to the highest bidder on e-Bay or on that weird TV channel that sells jewelry and knives and coin collections, such as.

OK, here's the deal, amigo. You make a post at Bruv World, then it's $0.29 per line, up to a maximum of $8.95.
As I'm sure you're aware, that's well above the going rate for transcription these days.
Which reminds me- don't go trying to outsource the post. I can always tell when it's some Indian (dot, not feather) doing my transcriptions.

So, how about it, Mr. Big Celebrity, Dave Hill?

Sincerely,
LosingALittleBitOfPatience
HereInDayton,Ohio
justltl

8:11 PM  

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