Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Dave vs. The International Weightlifting Community


I realize it’s pathetic that I even know this, but apparently members of the international weightlifting community do not find me the least bit amusing at all. Up until yesterday, I pretty much lived my life figuring the international weightlifting community and I would pretty much go about our business without ever really having any effect on each other whatsoever. I mean, sure, I do work out constantly (cardio, barbells, pretty much anything they have at the gym for guys like me who are really into working out), but generally speaking, I tend to keep matters of free weights and power lifting to myself. Still, as it turns out, the international weightlifting community is totally onto me.

As maybe one or two of the people who might possibly be reading this already know, I have a website.. Since I am a sad and lonely man, I often check my “webstats” to see how many people visit my site each day. There is even a thing where you can look to see what websites people came from to get to your website, so if there is a link to my site on some other site, I can find out where it is and even go take a look at it.

The other day I saw that the message board on a site called powerandbulk.com, which turns out to be about weightlifting and he-man competitions and other awesome stuff like that, had a link to my site. I was curious to see what people on a message board like this could possibly be saying about me, so I went and had a look. As it turns out there was a whole thread talking about how not funny I am. Making matters worse, one person even said I looked like the love child of Paul McCartney and Rosie O’Donnell. Ouch. I don’t think that they were merely suggesting that I look Irish.

Anyway, I was a little hurt at first to find some random people being mean to me on the Internet, but then I figured if a bunch of weightlifters and he-man types actually felt compelled to talk shit about me on their message board, I must be doing something right. I imagine Madonna and Cher must have gone through the same thing at some point in their illustrious careers. I guess I’ll just have to get used to it. After all, nobody made me go into show business.

If you feel like checking out what members of the international weightlifting community have to say about me, go here. And if you’ve really got a lot of extra time on your hands (and clearly you do if you’ve read this far), feel free to “weigh” in on the topic yourself. Get it? “Weigh?” Ha. And those weightlifters think I’m not funny.

And in case any members of the international weightlifting community are reading this right now- it's on, mofos.

Dave Hill

22 Comments:

Anonymous Cristy said...

i cannot believe you had no comments. you know,i NEVER look at links seeing as how they're mostly inside joke things or just plain f-ed up. i've so far read your bio and this. and i must say you are amusing. and just to make sure you weren't messing with me i actually checked out that weight lifter 'he-man'(as you so poigntly wrote) blog thingy. At least they're using their brain to form a whole sentence. but hey, if Arnold can be Gov of Cali, then i guess there's hope for them all.

Wow this thing just goes forever, you don't like, have a word limit. hmm. that could be a bad thing. if you were to actually read this. but i'm sure you're far too famous and will have some assistant in a much too tight micro mini check this. if you would at all.

so cheers. and peace from the North. ( where we are having incidentally a flippin' horrid heat wave. humidex's of 40c! let's see if you can convert that?)

7:35 PM  
Blogger christa870desmond said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell those losers to get jobs so they can feed their starving kids with brain cancer instead of bitchin' about it. Right on mate!

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think if you look around you'd notice that not much in that forum is taken seriously. That's why it's called the rant. Shit you should be honoured to be there. Most of the big names in lifting have been ridiculed by the members at some time.

12:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, Dave, don't pay any attention to them. They're a bunch of assholes.
Why don't you join up over at the P&B? You would have some serious fun!
If not, at least get out in the sunshine.
You really are a bit pasty.

Pete Cerberus

12:44 AM  
Anonymous Gringo Blueshirtio said...

All those Power and bulk comments were made by the Bruv character. He is of the geighe.

12:48 AM  
Anonymous Lance Boyle said...

Come on over, Dave.
I need a new buddy.
Remember though, NO TROLLING!
The P&B is a very serious place.

Your new bud,
Lance

1:00 AM  
Anonymous BigBruvOfEnglandUK said...

Blueshirt is right. T'was I who started the topic. I'm sowwy Dave. I've never seen your show (I live in England, UK) but I watched the clips on your site and couldn't see what was funny about it so I thought I would ask some yanks that may watch the show. I must admit I did laugh at your response above though. Much funnier than the clips. You really should come to the P&B more often and join in. You don't need to be a powerlifter to post there. I ain't. Or come to my own board and make fun of me. Everybody else there does. Yours sincerely, Big Bruv XXXXXX

1:10 AM  
Anonymous Mister Manners said...

Yes, you don't have to be a powerlifter to post there.
It will be quite an enjoyable experience if you have a sense of humor.

And if you're like twelve.

1:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

соединитесь с Властью и Большой частью, и Вы присоединитесь к интриге гомосексуальных домохозяек, которые пьют водку и выполняют оральный секс на члене собаки.

Вместо этого позвольте нам пить водку и стрелять Арабов и не быть настолько сердитыми.

Aura of Peace

8:48 AM  
Anonymous Aura Of Peace said...

соединитесь с Властью и Большой частью, и Вы присоединитесь к интриге гомосексуальных домохозяек, которые пьют водку и выполняют оральный секс на члене собаки.

Вместо этого позвольте нам пить водку и стрелять Арабов и не быть настолько сердитыми.

8:48 AM  
Anonymous jimburnetto, Member of the international weight lifting community. said...

Dave,
Just so you know, no one at P&B likes the people who posted that about you. It's just that we are too dumb to figure out how to ban people so we have to put up with this type of thing.

You can come over and teach some of our slower crowd how to be funny. Or at least we can mutually abuse each other. (wink wink)

p.s., How much can you bench? Can you lift a car?

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Pete Cerberus said...

You would fit in great, Dale. We have a wide array of posters over there, spanning the full spectrum of lifting abilities, races, creeds, fetishes, ethnicities, intelligence levels, humor levels and sexual preferences.
JimB up there, for example, heads up our unfunny,dull-witted, coprophilic division.

1:31 PM  
Anonymous jimburnetto, Member of the international weight lifting community. said...

Main Entry: cop·ro·phil·ia
Pronunciation: "kä-pr&-'fi-lE-&
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin
: marked interest in excrement; especially : the use of feces or filth for sexual excitement

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Mister Manners said...

"At least they're using their brain to form a whole sentence."

Very poignt observation.
You should come over too, Cristy.
We have a huge dumbass division.

3:57 PM  
Anonymous WildGorillaMan said...

Hey, look how much exposure the International Weightlifting Community has gotten you!

And you're more than welcome to register with us. God knows, if being funny or intelligent was a prerequisite of membership, we would have far fewer members.

9:04 PM  
Anonymous cristy said...

imagine the inheritance if you were the offspring of a sexual encounter between Rosy and Paul. Jackpot. Stop being so negative.

6:51 AM  
Anonymous Butler Miller said...

Dave,

I am firmly in your corner. I have no connections to any community, in or outside of this country.

Lead with your chin, it feels better when the other guy hits the canvas. I just made that up, but feel free to put it in a fortune cookie.

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Olatunde Osazee said...

Dave Hill-
Hello, Dave. I am Olatunde Osazee. I am member of P&B as well as former head chief of Grip Club of Nigeria.
First let me say that Olatunde big fanatic of yours. No day goes that acquaintances of Olatunde not hear how much Dave Hill crack up Olatunde.
Unfortunately, there is also bad news. Abeo Jamoke is recent widow of former head chief of Nigerian International Weightlifting and Comedian Appreciation Associational. She still very distraught over unfortunate demise of late husband. The good news, and this where you come in, Dave Hill, is that she watch your videos, and they make her so happy, she authorize me, Olatunde Osazee, new head chief of NIWACAA to give you piece of her inheritance. She specify $30,000,000. All you need to do, Dave Hill, is send to Olatunde your full name, name of bank, PIN number and any major credit card numbers (please include expiration date, Dave Hill). Soon as Olatunde Osazee, official agent of widow Abeo Jamoke, receive this information, Olatunde cut your check.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon, Dave Hill.
God bless you and many funny things to you,
Olatunde Osazee
Head Chief of Nigerian International Weightlifting and Comedian Appreciation Associational.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Matt Furey said...

Dear Dave,

Some months back Chet Rowland, who is a longtime member of Matt's Mastermind Coaching group, mentioned that we shouldn't drink Dasani water. Normally Chet's advice is about other matters, real estate and women to name a couple - so I forgot all about what he said until I received an email from Peggi who said the same thing.

Dasani water is a Coca Cola product. Big surprise there, huh.

The two biggest sellers in the bottled water world are Dasani, and Aquafina, a Pepsi product.

I have a bottle of Dasani right next to me here as I write so I tell you what's on the label.

Purified water, potassium chloride, magnesium sulfate, and salt.

According to Peggi, "The chief use of potassium chloride is in fertilizers, and chemical manufacturing. Common reactions to potassium chloride include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and abdominal pain. It also has interactions with certain drugs that are not pleasant."

They also add magnesium sulfates which are more commonly called Epsom salts. They can be ingested, but they are a laxative.

And salt. Why on earth do we need salt in a "water" product.

So, what I'm saying is, you be the judge on this one. Do some research and determine if drinking this sort of water is good for you.

Aquafina, on the other hand, is a Pepsi product.

It uses a 7-step filtration process and the only ingredient listed on the bottle is purified water.

I am not endorsing Aquafina. What I am encouraging you to do is read the labels on what you drink, and eat. If you think an ingredient doesn't belong, you probably shouldn't use the product.

It takes a little effort to know what it is you are ingesting. But the closer you can get something to its natural state, the better off you will be.

Thanks Chet. Thanks Peggi.

Kick butt - take names,

Sean Furey

7:21 PM  
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