I Am In Tucson

Today I flew from New York City to scenic Tucson, Arizona, a place I have never been before to the best of my knowledge (NOTE: I might have been here when I was little or something and just not remember but I doubt it- I don’t think the family station wagon ever made it west of Wyoming as far as I know). I am here shooting something for a soon-to-be-wildly-popular cable television program that I totally am on.

Along the way to Tucson, I had a layover in Houston (Sorry, no direct flights today, even for huge stars like me), where- against my better judgment and mostly out of boredom- I got a big BBQ’d meat (beef or pork, I’m not sure which really) sandwich at a place called Harlan’s BBQ. It was pretty good but entirely unnecessary. I thought about getting an ice cream cone after that but I pulled myself together and decided against it in the end.

Also in the Houston airport, they hade these cool planes on the floor (pictured above) that I snapped a photo of shortly after eating the sandwich mentioned in paragraph two. I’d love to have planes on the floor in my house someday. There at the airport they weren’t that cool really. I think I like planes out of context better. At the airport they mainly just made me think more about how I was at the airport, which I don’t really like that much. But if you had planes on the floor of your home you could make up fun stories about the planes and where they were going and you could imagine all the people inside the planes too and all the crazy shit they must be up to in their spare time. That would be fun pretty much any time of the day if you ask me, especially at breakfast when you’re too tired to do much else except for eating and making up stories about people flying in planes. Kids would probably really like seeing the planes on your floor too whether they were yours or someone else’s. I imagine they would make up some fun stories about them too. See? Having planes on your floor is pretty much great for everybody. Unless, of course, the planes made you think of Sept. 11 or something, in which you can't come over to my house. The last think I need is your ass bringing me down. I invited you over because I thought we were going to have fun, dammit! And now you're just bringing everybody down. What the hell is wrong with you anyway?

Dave Hill