Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Metal Cares

As usual, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to helping people lately, like, on a global scale. Originally I was thinking about assembling an all-star heavy metal band comprised of some of the biggest heavy metal stars of the ‘80’s to record a heavy metal song for charity. And I was pretty excited about it too. That was, of course, until I remembered that somebody already did that with Hear ‘n Aid, an all-star heavy metal band comprised of some of the biggest heavy metal stars of the ‘80’s. Hear ‘n Aid was formed as a reaction to that “We Are the World” song and also that “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” song that Bono and a bunch of other European people sang on. Rainbow and Dio bass player Jimmy Bain thought the heavy metal community could probably make a pretty sweet song for really hungry people too and next thing you know Jimmy, Ronnie James Dio, Ted Nugent, Yngwie J. Malmsteen, and a bunch of guys from Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Dokken, Quiet Riot, Rough Cutt, Queensryche, Blue Oyster Cult, Y&T, Motley Crue, Twisted Sister, W.A.S.P., Night Ranger, Giuffria, Journey, and even Spinal Tap were all hanging out in the studio recording a song called “We’re Stars.” I can’t even imagine what the catering must have been like. Can you imagine helping yourself to a big plate of macaroni salad while the Nuge is right there next to you making a ham sandwich or something? Man, that would be awesome.

Above is the video for the “We’re Stars” song mentioned in the last paragraph. Personally, I think they could have just gone from the beginning part where Dio sings “Who cries for the children? I-I Doooooo” straight to all the guitar solos. And then they should have just let Yngwie and George Lynch trade off the whole time. But- hey- that’s just me. I’m a purist when it comes to shredding. And all these years later, still no one has addressed the elephant in the room: Where in the hell was Ratt? My guess is that they were banging groupies in Tokyo that day or something. Otherwise I just can’t understand why Carlos Cavazo couldn’t have just swung by Warren DeMartini’s house on the way to the studio or something. You know it was on the way. It’s just weird any way you slice it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this song and video on some level or another (and there are many, so if you can’t find at least three or four levels to enjoy it on, well, I just don’t know what to say to you anymore).

Speaking of incredible guitar playing, I was avoiding work around the house today and decided to crank out a brief yet incredible instructional guitar video for the world to enjoy. Watch it now because I will probably come to my senses and remove it from YouTube any second now. It’s that dumb. Here it is. I apologize in advance for blowing your mind:

Dave Hill


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