Girl Scout Cookies And Whatnot

It is still on the relatively freezing side here in scenic Manhattan but I am dealing with it nicely thanks to the free winter coat I got from the Nike corporation mentioned a couple entries ago. However, I just went out for cup of coffee wearing the free coat I got from the excellent people at Le Tigre and I must say I was really warm in that too. And, to be fair, it looks sportier than the Nike coat. I guess if there is anything to learn from all of this it is that free coats in general tend to be a lot warmer than ones you actually have to pay for. Also, I am kind of a douchebag for mentioning any of this. But hey- I’m YOUR douchebag! Well, maybe not- I guess that’s up to you really.

Anyway, yesterday I bought some Girl Scout cookies from a friend who was selling them for her niece or cousin or something. I went with the Samoas and the Thin Mints, both pretty solid cookies in my opinion. I carried the Samoas and Thin Mints with me for a few blocks and you could see the excited looks on people’s faces. People really love these cookies, dammit. Along the way, I stopped off for coffee and the girl in the coffee shop was all like “Give me some of those Thin Mints!” and I was all like “Take them because I am becoming a big old fat person!” She ended up not taking them though even though I was all like “Seriously, just take them, dammit!” Maybe I will go back later today.

I’ve never understood why the Girl Scouts don’t just sell the cookies year round. People love that shit. I am convinced you could open a Girl Scout cookies store here in Manhattan and there would be a line out the door year round. People love that shit. There- I said it again.

Speaking of Girl Scouts, I’ve never been involved in scouting myself. I remember as a kid me and my next door neighbor John Coneglio were the only two kids in our entire school who refused to join the Cub Scouts. Even then we were total badasses. One day, our friend Kevin had all the Cub Scouts- probably 50 of them or something- over to his house. They all played in his back yard in their little uniforms. John and I stood on the edge of his yard and made fun of all the kids in their Cub Scout uniforms. I’m still not sure how two 8 year-olds felt confident enough to mock 50 8 year-olds who could have easily done away with them in “Lord Of The Flies” fashion or something. Oh wait- I know, we had huge 8 year-old balls.

Anyway, all these years later, I can’t really remember why John and I hated the idea of scouting so much (I mean, you know, besides the fact that it’s, like, you know, really gay). Sometimes I think maybe I missed out on something but then I remember it’s the Girl Scouts that have the cookies and I’m alright.

Dave Hill