King Of Miami And Other Topics

It is raining like a motherfucker here in New York City and I honestly just can’t stop talking about it. Anyway, a couple of days ago, my friend Phil and I shot an exciting music video in some big warehouse in Brooklyn to promote my exciting new television show “The King of Miami,” which debuts on May 7 on the futuristic television network Mojo, which totally comes to you in the futuristic high-definition that most people can’t even handle.

The video was lots of fun to make and- as hinted at in the photo above- featured three attractive ladies in bikinis who danced around and looked really pretty all day and stuff. I am trying to be a pretend douchebag in the photo but if you look closely you can see that I kind of look more like an actual douchebag. You be the judge. Anyway, the video should be done soon and will be on the Internet and stuff so I will mention it here and then you can go watch it and circle will be completed.

After we finished making the incredible music video, our buddies from the futuristic high-definition television network mentioned earlier took me and Phil to dinner at BLT Prime, a steak restaurant that we both found to be really, really classy, even for us, two of the classiest guys we know. I ordered a big rib eye steak and ate the fuck out of that thing. The steak came with a chunk of bone that had the bone marrow all cooked up inside and then a little spoon for you to eat the marrow with. It seemed kind of interesting but just tasted like a bunch of fat so then I was all like “What the F? You’re not even trying!”

For dessert at the classy restaurant, we had a couple of chocolatey, moussey type things and I also ordered a glass of grappa, which always seems like a good idea but then the next day I feel like someone beat the crap out of me. I think I need to put myself on the road to wellness or at least on the road to not hammeredness for a while. I am starting with the man in the mirror. I am asking him to make a change.

In other news, if you find yourself in the East Village of Manhattan this evening, I will be performing at the popular ”Get Psyched!” show over there at Rififi (332 East 11th Street) at 8pm. Rob Lathan is the host and he comes highly Dave Hill-approved.

In still other news, a couple weeks ago, my downstairs neighbor died of causes that are unknown to me. Since I haven’t lived in the building all that long and rarely see my neighbors anyway, I wasn’t sure which person died but thought I had it pinned down to this one guy whom I would see occasionally. Then yesterday I saw the guy who I thought was the one who had died and he was totally alive and walking up the stairs. I wanted to scream “You’re alive! You’re alive!” but then I thought that might have weirded him out. I wonder what someone would think though if they found out that a stranger totally thought they were dead for like two weeks. Would his whole life flash before him? Or would he just think I was a retard? I will be losing sleep over this one for a while.

Dave Hill