Saturday, April 05, 2008

Sexy Furniture

My friend Leeza sent me this inspiring story about a man who was caught having sex with a picnic table. We all have needs but I tend to think this is pushing it a little bit. Fingering a picnic table? Sure- I could totally see that. But fucking a picnic table- that's a whole other thing. I should point out that the picnic table above is not the same kind of picnic table that the man in the story was caught banging though. I guess without seeing the picnic table in question, it's hard to say for sure whether or not I could keep myself from banging it. It may have been an especially sexy picnic table and if so I really can't blame the man for totally banging it. Generally speaking, however, I tend not to have intimate relationships with furniture. I got a handjob from a recliner once, but I was drunk and regret it (slightly) to this day.

Dave Hill


Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are a total loser. say you get hit with a penny then a bear can. maybe you should write a blog to no one about it. fucking douche

10:32 AM  
Blogger Dave Hill said...

You misspelled "bear." I assume you meant "beer." Also, there should be a comma after "it" and before "fucking douche," not a period.

12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In regards to the first posting, there was also a complete lack of capitalization. In English grammar, the first letter of the first word of a sentence should be presented in its majuscule form with the remaining letters presented in miniscule. Furthermore, the poster presented a lack of reading comprehension. The original blog posting was about boinking lawn furniture. There was no mention of pennies or bear cans.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Chad Strong said...

Probably should have also been "YOU fucking douche", to clear up the possibility that poster was merely informing us that he was fucking a douche simultaneously and at the same time as suggesting that you should write a blog to no one about it.

2:58 PM  
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