For Your Book Club

I’m guessing I’ve mentioned this book before here, but I just can’t help but mention it again as it’s just so great in so many ways. The book, of course, is Lords of Chaos by Michael Moynihan and Didrik Søderlind and is so fun and interesting, I’m actually reading it for the second time right now. The book is primarily about Scandinavian Black Metal and occultism and stuff like that but then gets into all sorts of other crazy shit besides all that. It originally came out in 1998 but I recently stumbled upon the revised version that came out in 2003 and decided to check it out. The new version is even more satany, but to be honest you can’t go wrong with either edition. Whether you are into black metal or not, the book is full of all sorts of stuff that is at times funny, sad, scary, shocking, amazing, and just interesting to read in general. Also, Lords of Chaos is written from a fairly objective viewpoint, so at times you can’t help but wonder exactly where the authors stand on various things like Nazism, fascism, church burning, murder, nationalism, etc. But, hey, you’re a smart fella- I’m sure you’ll get through it just fine and come to your own conclusions. As they say at the end of really fun baking recipes- enjoy!
Dave Hill

Questions. Answers. Woody.

Last night was one of these really fun nights that reminds you what a super town this New York City place can really be.

Things started off on a scholarly note when- against all likelihood- I gave a lecture of sorts to a writing class at Fordham University (my alma mater) at Lincoln Center. I hardly think I’m qualified to be giving advice of any sort on the subject of writing to impressionable young people (or anyone really), but Fordham offered me money and free pizza to do it so I was all like “Yes- I will totally show up at your school and do that.” In the interest of full disclosure, I should also point out that my sister, a much better and more succesful writer than I, had been asked to speak at the school and then one thing led to another and they ended up wanting me to speak to the young people too.

I had hoped to dig up one of those tweed blazers with the suede patches on the elbows for my lecture last night, but I ended up just wearing what I put on yesterday morning (minus the pith helmet). Also, what with the no-smoking rule they have going at Fordham, the pipe was out of the question too. Despite my lack of professorial attire, however, things seemed to go okay. The actual professor of the class guided me through things in more of a Q&A sort of way rather than having me just stand up and lecture everybody all by myself, which was good because I hadn’t really prepared anything beyond a couple notes I had scribbled about “following your dreams” while on the subway up to Fordham.

I couldn’t really tell if the kids enjoyed or benefited from my “lecture” in any way (one student seemed to be smiling a lot, but maybe my fly was down or something), but I had a good time and they seemed like a real nice bunch. Now if my high school calls me to come speak there sometime I will have officially realized all my dreams in life (assuming I get the pet donkey for Christmas as promised).

After I finished forming young minds and touching the youth of America in general, I ran over to Alice Tully Hall at Lincoln Center to watch and listen to a Q&A session with Woody Allen. It was interesting to go from participating in a Q&A session and then going to watch a Q&A session right afterwards. Overall, I’d say Woody did a better job than I did but there were better snacks at my thing. This was actually the second time I’ve seen Woody Allen be interviewed in front of an audience (I saw him a couple years ago at the 92nd St. Y speaking on the role of psychotherapy in his films) and he was much more forthcoming this time around, perhaps because last night’s interviewer seemed to have a better handle on things.

Woody answered questions for about an hour and then there was a screening of his new movie “Match Point,” starring Hollywood’s Scarlett Johansson and the guy from “Bend It Like Beckham.” I thought the movie was pretty good, but my friend Fred and the other people we were with (one of whom was a massage therapist who also specialized in something called “guided imagery,” which sounded pretty sweet but I imagine must be expensive in addition to being potentially creepy) weren’t that into it. While I agree with them that the movie wasn’t that great compared to most of Woody’s other movies, it still kicked the crap out of 99.9% of all the other movies people make these days. But hey, that’s just me. I’m easy. Keep Ben Affleck off the screen, throw in a sex scene or two and you can have my ten bucks any time.

After the Woody Allen extravaganza, we all walked over to a restaurant called either O’Neill’s or O’Neal’s (I forget which), where I ate a hamburger and drank a couple beers because the people in the movie kept drinking beer and it looked really good. And it was! Then I shared a cab home with Fred and some of my new friends.

When I got back to Brooklyn I finished off a pint of my new favorite ice cream, Chocolate Peanut Butter made by the Haagen-Dazs people. It’s kind of like Chubby Hubby by the Ben and Jerry’s people but a bit more streamlined and not as crunchy because it doesn’t have the pretzels in it. Whether you really like ice cream or simply would like to put on a few extra pounds this holiday season, I highly recommend it.

Dave Hill

Movie Night

I am watching the hit movie “Over The Top” as I type this. In case you haven’t seen it before, the movie is about pretty much the greatest arm wrestler in the word, who is played by Sylvester Stallone. Sylvester Stallone also drives a big truck in the movie and his son goes everywhere with him for some reason. Sylvester Stallone even lets his son drive the truck in one scene. Talk about a super dad. Right now Sylvester Stallone is teaching his son a hard life lesson by trying to talk some kid who is playing video games in a diner into arm wrestling his son. Sylvester Stallone’s son ends up losing the arm wrestling match the first go-round, but- after running outside and crying for a few minutes- he comes back inside, turns his baseball hat backwards to prove he is not messing around, and then beats the kid- who is much bigger than him, mind you- not once, but twice. Then Sylvester Stallone’s kid calls his mom on a payphone (the film is set in the ‘80’s) and tells her all about it. In this scene, she is lying in a hospital bed, which suggests she is going to die later. After the kid gets off the phone, Sylvester talks to her for a couple minutes and then we see in the background that some bad guys are kidnapping the kid. If they think they are going to get away with that they have got another thing coming. Sylvester Stallone is chasing them now in his truck. Something tells me he is about to get that kid back. Oh wait, yup, he did. And then the bad guys ran away. If you like great movies that have everything, you should totally see “Over The Top.”

Dave Hill

My Favorite Song At The Moment

I “downloaded” a song from the “Internet” (it was a free download, no foul play) not long ago and it has since lodged itself into the #1 spot on the Dave Hill Top 100 chart of stuff I listen to while walking around and stuff. The song is by Teenage Fanclub, a band that had sort of fallen off the radar with me over the last few years, but now- thanks to this song- is enjoying a bit of a renaissance in the world of Dave Hill. The song is called "It’s All In My Mind” and you can check it out here. It’s good stuff. I really like how the drums come in and out and how the snare drum is muted (or whatever you call it when you take the little wire things off the bottom) during the quieter parts. And since stumbling across the song, I’ve gone back to revisit a lot of Teenage Fanclub’s other albums, which are all pretty solid. Anyway, just thought I’d share it with you if you haven’t heard it already.

In other news, as usual, I would encourage you to check out my unstoppable rock band Valley Lodge while you’re at it. We’re not too shabby either. In fact, you can read a great review of our debut album here. And then maybe you can go buy it or download it from Limewire or something. Just listen to it. Dammit.

In still other news, my friend Dale just launched a new website for himself today. He’s an awesome photographer and has really great hair. He has even photographed Lemmy. Beat that. Check out his goods here. He makes good pictures.

Finally, I had so much fun hanging out with my friend Tim and his brother Mike this weekend that I threw up in my bed on Friday night. It’s good to feel so alive. You can high-five me next time you see me or something.

Dave Hill

Bears In The Media

I’ve been noticing a lot of bear coverage in the media lately. For the uninitiated, bears are members of the homosexual community who celebrate the fact that they are big and hairy. I am neither gay nor bear-like myself, yet still I can’t help but think that bears are pretty awesome in general. Anybody that can embrace being a little overweight and having an excess of body and facial hair and then seek out others who are like them and throw big parties with lots of dancing and stuff is okay by me.

I’ve been hip to the bear scene for a while now and apparently the rest of the world is starting to catch on to this exciting new craze (well, new to us non-bears that is). John Waters (who I’m guessing has known about bears himself for some time now) included an exciting bear cameo in his last movie “A Dirty Shame.” It was a great moment for both bears and their admirers. Now, just yesterday, I happened upon two separate mentions of bears over the course of my day’s reading. Since I just woke up, I can’t remember the first. The second however, was in New York Magazine, which had a whole story on bears and the exciting bear scene in general. They even quote John Waters in the piece (who, of course, not a bear).

I’m not sure what my point is with all this. I guess what I’m trying to say is “Bears- I salute you!” In fact, I officially decree today Dave Hill Thinks Bears Are Awesome Day. You can do your part by hugging a bear or something while you’re going about your day. Don’t blame me if things go horribly wrong though and the dude you hug ends up not being a bear but just a big hairy straight guy who wants to kick your ass. It’s not my problem. Anyway, let me know what happens. In the meantime, I am going to go look at pictures of naked chicks on the Internet for a while just so you don’t get the wrong idea about me or something. Geez.

Dave Hill

Instant Fun

Here is something really fun that I found on the Internet. Look at this little guy go! Where is he going? And what's with the beard? Ha! I am full of questions. Anyway, if you have Internet access, there is all sorts of really fun stuff just like this out there waiting to be discovered by you or someone you love. Have fun with it! You never know what you'll find.

Dave Hill

The Dave Hill Explosion: Tomorrow Night, Thursday, November 10, at UCB Theatre, 7pm w/Surprise Guest Alicia Goranson. Come. Or Else.

Dear computer-having people:

I just wanted to remind you one last time that I will be changing lives via my gravity-defying nightclub act, the Dave Hill Explosion, tomorrow night (Thursday, November 10th, dammit) at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (located at 307 West 26th Street between 8th and 9th Avenues, just south of the Auto Mile). The mayhem will begin at 7pm when I come out on stage and start doing a bunch of stuff that is so incredible it does not even show up on film. It is hard to type just thinking about it. I know the show is early, but you should just tell your boss to go f#$k him/herself, throw your ass in a cab, and then come to my show. Recent studies have indicated that ninety percent of the audience at my show last week ended up having anonymous and completely unregrettable sex with at least one person within two hours of my performance. I am not taking credit for this but- hey- I am just saying. As mentioned previously, my surprise guest tomorrow night is going to be none other than the lovely and talented Alicia Goranson, who is perhaps better known to TV-lovers everywhere as Becky from the hit show Roseanne. She also kicked some serious acting ass in Boys Don’t Cry and is currently starring in the popular Love, Ludlow film. I totally have her cell phone number. Anyway, I really hope you can make it. If you are not completely satisfied with my performance, you can kick me in the nuts. You can reserve a pile of tickets here. Okay, hope to see you tomorrow.

Your man,
Dave Hill

The Past Few Days Or So In Review

The past few days have been action-packed and just really fun and magical in general. The mayhem started on Wednesday night when my rock band Valley Lodge showed up at Sin-e and started rocking people so much it wasn’t even f#$king funny. It wasn’t as crowded as I would have liked but the people that were there were more than rock capable and show turned out to be pretty life-altering for all in attendance anyway. John and I each had a little guitar cord trouble for some reason and Rob hit his rack tom (this is a drum) so hard it fell over at one point (which was actually pretty cool now that I think about it), but other than that we pretty much rifled through the hits and had a good time rocking people. And then we went home.

The excitement continued on Thursday, when my exciting nightclub act, the Dave Hill Explosion, totally exploded all over the place at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre, which is located right here in town. As mentioned previously, my guest for this show was my close personal friend Rufus Wainwright. Given the pandemonium that sets in when Rufus and I show up at the same place at the same time, the show was totally sold out. Rufus, as always, was amazing. He performed his hit song “Gay Messiah” and then sat down with me and we talked about all sorts of stuff. He was hilarious and should totally have his own talk show or something. There are a couple pictures from the show and also from Rufus’ Beacon Theater shows here. Check that sh*t out.

I have spent the last couple days sleeping and eating stuff. Yesterday, I went to watch my sister Miriam run in the New York Marathon. Unfortunately for me but good for her, she was ahead of her predicted pace and I ended up not seeing her in the pack of sweaty marathon running-type people at the corner of Bedford and Myrtle Avenues in Brooklyn where I stood and yelled and clapped for a few minutes before figuring out that Miriam had been running like the wind and was a few miles past me by now (I thought it would be good to use a run-on sentence when talking about my marathon-watching experience. Get it?)

As far as the next few days go, I plan to sleep and eat some more and then maybe figure out what to do with this hair of mine. This Thursday, November 10 at 7pm, the Dave Hill Explosion will be exploding again all over the place. If you live in New York City, you should totally come. My guest is going to be Alicia Goranson from the hit TV series “Roseanne.” She is also in a new movie called “Love, Ludlow.” There will also be snacks and beverages for sale. Reserve tickets here.

Dave Hill

The Dave Hill Explosion w/ special guest Rufus Wainwright. Thursday, November 3, at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. Check That Sh*t Out.

This is just another one of several reminders that my life-altering new show, the Dave Hill Explosion, is totally happening this Thursday, November 3 at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, which is located right here in scenic New York City, the town in which I live. My special guest for this show will be Rufus Wainwright, who is excellent in a whole bunch of ways. For more info and to reserve tickets and whatnot, go here. I hope you can make it. In fact, if you don’t I will cut myself. Wait, no, that’s too harsh. Anyway, I will be bummed if you don’t come. How about that? It is as if I am meeting you halfway or something.

Dave Hill