Sunday, August 31, 2008

Do Not Even Get Me Started On This Topic

My friend Leeza's dogs are total drunks. Here they are after another bender.

In other news, here is an excellent video of the Norwegian Black Metal band Immortal bringing the (Satanic) heat at the Graspop Metal Meeting in Moscow. As far as being really metal and really Satany, these guys have pretty much got it all figured out.

Dave Hill

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Carmine And Me

Last night I ended up in a bar I had never been to before, the Nancy Whiskey Pub in Tribeca. It's a divey kind of bar you see less and less of in Manhattan these days. I like the bar a lot but the jukebox was super loud in that way that always seems to suggest to me that the people in charge are under the impression that volume equals fun. I couldn't hear a word anyone was saying and it was driving me nuts. Making matters worse was the fact that I didn't like any of the music that was playing (I can't remember what any of it was at the moment). They had one of those Internet jukeboxes there that you can play all sorts of music on, so I came up with what I thought was a genius plan to get them to turn the jukebox down- load up the playlist with '80's hair metal and other hard rock that I was guessing no one in the place (besides me, of course) would like. The plan totally backfired though. Everyone seemed to really dig all the Ratt and Dokken I cranked into the place. I was enjoying it too, so much in fact that volume wasn't really bothering me anymore. And then- in keeping with the impromptu theme I tried to create in the bar- in walked legendary hard rock and metal drummer Carmine Appice, who has played drums for Vanilla Fudge, Cactus, Blue Murder, Ozzy Osbourne, Rod Stewart, and, like, a million other people. He rules. Being a big fan of people who rock balls and all, I was pretty excited about meeting him. That is a picture of Carmine and me totally standing outside the bar. He was a super nice guy but I was really impressed at how he doesn't smile for pictures. It is the rock-n-roll way. I need to work on it myself. Also, my hair could use a little help too.

Dave Hill

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Holy Sh*t

Hump Day- am I right? The weather has been cooling off a bit so naturally it’s got me thinking about all the magical clothing layering possibilities that come with the fall. I really plan on taking things to the next level (and maybe even the next level after that) this time around.

Keeping all that in mind, yesterday I decided to clean the fuck out of the closets in my apartment (you know, so I be better prepared for all the layering I’m going to be doing). I folded shit, got rid of shit, and continued my ongoing battle with those damn clothing moths I have pretty much accepted as roommates at this point. I’ve done countless minutes of research on these irritating winged (pronounced wing-ed- two syllables for dramatic effect) beasts and can’t figure out why the hell they like living with me so much (I mean, I’m fun and all but even I get sick of myself after a while). As I understand it, the clothing moths (or- more specifically the larvae) live primarily off of animal-based materials like wool, silk, and taxidermy. Admittedly (and sadly?), I have a few of all of these things in my apartment, but certainly not enough to satisfy the near-Biblical swarms of clothing moths that totally hang out in my apartment like we’re splitting the rent or something. Add to that the fact that I’ve sprayed so much clothing moth-killing spray around this apartment that I’m pretty sure I’ve altered my own DNA by this point, and it’s, like, seriously annoying that these things are still here. I think they are weakening though. Lately I’ve noticed the clothing moths crashing down onto my desk from out of nowhere, not unlike a man on fire who rushes into a bar in hopes that someone, anyone will pour their drink on him so that he might cheat death. But if they’re looking for help from me they’ve got another thing coming (to paraphrase the mighty Judas Priest).

In other news, I stumbled upon the blog of “Ren and Stimpy” creator John Kricfalusi the other day. In this entry, he writes at length about his preference for traditional 2D animation over the popular 3D animation we see all the time now. I couldn’t agree with him more (though- being a pro and all- he totally explains it all much better than I could). For a while, I refused to even see films done with 3D animation. I’ve slowly relented, however. And while I don’t still totally hate it, I’d much rather see a cartoon animated in traditional 2D any day. I remember seeing “Ratatouille” when it came out and though I enjoyed it, the 2D animation used during the credits was my favorite part of the entire film (visually speaking, that is). Get John K.’s interesting take on the whole thing here. The man knows from cartoons.

Dave Hill

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Satanic Box

Summer is almost gone and the mayhem just doesn’t seem to stop. Fortunately, I am from the future and can sort of handle it. The “Refugee Girls Revue” play I was in as part of the Fringe Festival ended on Saturday. It was a real blast to be a part of the magic. It’s only the second play I’ve ever done, but I am, like, seriously becoming a thespian or something. I even got some nice mentions on the Internet (where it really counts). It’s shameless and pathetic of me to mention them, I know, but why try to change now? I mean, we’re both here, right? Why don’t I just tell you? Here’s what the Internet critics totally said about me:

"There were some truly inspired performances, like the wacky Ruth Gamble who steals every scene she’s in, or Dave Hill who plays Token Male (the sole guy in the show) who takes on all the male role in the Refugee’s stories, yet manages with incredible precision, to milk every laugh out of his many small cameos."

"I was also impressed by Lauren Van Kurin, who portrays a veritable menagerie of incidental adult characters with the manic ferocity of a female Jack Black, and Dave Hill, who, as the "Token Male" (his character name), is cleverly clueless as a half-dozen different impotent male characters."

The folks are gonna be proud, I can feel it. Anyway, hopefully I can get to do another play again soon. I really like showing up somewhere and doing the same thing every day and/or night- it gives me a sense of direction. Of course, I only mean this in the show business sense. I don’t want to show up at, like, a regular non-show business job or anything. I mean, sure, I’d be the best-dressed guy on the job and all, but other than that I’d be useless.

In other news, this past Friday I went to see my friend Gian do a reading at Barbes in Park Slope as part of the launch of the latest issue of the literary magazine "No Colony." It was there that Gian presented me with the Satanic box pictured at the top of this here blog entry. He got it from a witch in Sweden or something and naturally thought of me, what with my taste for the dark side and all. The witch said it would be good for me, but to be honest I’m a little worried about it. Don’t get me wrong- no one is crazier about Satan than me, but being an Irish Catholic guy underneath it all I’m slightly uncomfortable about having the Satanic box in my apartment, looking at me all the time and whatnot. And I know if I try to get rid of it it will just come back and hit me in the head while I’m getting up to pee in the middle of the night. File under: last thing I need. I guess I will just have to counter the increased forces of Satan in my apartment with some sort of goodness or something. Maybe I will put on a bake sale and use all the proceeds to dress up small dogs in naval uniforms or something. That ought to balance things out. That’s a win-win for everybody, even Satan. I’m just trying to do my part in this world.

In other news, above is a new video by my friend Chris Schneider, who is one of the greats. Watch it now or I’ll have a serious meltdown and become all the more vulnerable to whatever the Satanic box has in store for me. And speaking of incredible things to watch on the Internet, here is an interview I did for New York Magazine with the lovely and talented Martha Plimpton. It has everything.

In still other news, recently I stumbled into Kim’s Video on St. Mark’s Place after a few drinks in the neighborhood (getting drunk and buying DVDs is my “new thing”) and picked up a documentary about the ‘90’s Seattle rock band TAD, pictured above. As is usually the case after a night of drunken DVD shopping, I woke up the next day to discover the DVD on my desk and began to think more seriously about rehab. Don’t get me wrong- I really dig TAD. It’s just that I get so impulsive when I’m on the sauce I wonder if maybe I might try to reign it in a bit.

As it turns out, however, the TAD documentary is just as cool as I thought it might be when I was drunk and standing at the cash register at Kim’s. I always had a soft spot for the band and watching it kind of made me wish I had a time machine that would go back to the ‘90’s and see them rock out. There’s also a part of me that wouldn’t mind going back to live with my parents like I did back then. Anyway, below is a video for TAD’s great song “Leafy Incline.” Shit rocks. Do your part for rock by watching it right now.

Dave Hill

Thursday, August 21, 2008

"Little Michael Jackson And Me": The Spine-Tingling Third (And Last?) Episode

Attention Citizens of the Internet:

Hello. This is your man Dave Hill writing to let you know that the incredible third episode of my hit television series that is only on the Internet, "Little Michael Jackson and Me," featuring a guest appearance by Hollywood's David Rakoff and Carl Arnheiter, is totally available for public viewing right above where I am typing right now.

For the uninitiated, "Little Michael Jackson and Me" is a show about a Peruvian dwarf Michael Jackson impersonator who punches me in the nuts all the time. This third episode is easily the most sophisticated of the bunch. It pretty much has everything. Critics are already calling it "a triumph" and "better than 'The Thorn Birds.'" I believe this to be some of the most groundbreaking and important work I have done in a very long time or at least since the last episode of "Little Michael Jackson and Me" came out. I think you will agree. Please watch it right now or I will cut myself or something.

I love you,
Dave Hill

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Am Totally In A Play This Week

Hi there. I am totally in a play this week called "Refugee Girls Revue", which is part of the New York Fringe Festival that is totally happening right now. The play is a musical parody of the show that goes on for real at the American Girl Doll store. You can get a better sense of things by reading this great review of the show here. Anyway, you should totally come to see it tonight, Wednesday, Friday, and/or Saturday this week. Here is the full schedule and address of the theatre and stuff (80 St. Marks Place- I have it memorized for when I have to go there later). The play stars a bunch of really pretty young ladies and I am the only guy in the play. I play the role of "Token Male" and I'm told my character represents "the disorientation men feel upon entering the American Girl Doll store," which sounds about right. The play opened on Sunday night and went really well aside from my screwups. I even saw one of the actresses' boobs backstage by accident (I swear). What a night! I hope you can come to see it. We can get a sandwich afterwards.

Dave Hill

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

A Couple More New Valley Lodge Rock Songs For You

Hi. How are you? I am pretty good. Things have been crazy here at Dave Hill International. I will give a full update soon and you will probably wet the furniture or something. That's how exciting it all is. In the meantime, however, I wanted to tell you that I posted two new songs from the forthcoming incredible new album by my rock band Valley Lodge. The songs are over there on our MySpace page and they are called "Break Your Heart" and "Sentimental Lady," the latter of which is a cover of a song by the great Bob Welch. Anyway, go over there and listen to them right now or I will do something probably only I will regret. The page is located right here. I hope you like the songs a whole bunch. They pretty much have everything.

Dave Hill

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Andrew Andrew Dance Moves To Grow On

Here is a video by icons-of-all-sorts-of-things Andrew Andrew that I enjoyed on several levels. It is somehow related to the popular M.A.C. cosmetics company, which makes it even better if you are a lover of fine cosmetics like me, Dave Hill, a man of class who knows from such things.

Dave Hill

Saturday, August 09, 2008

The Raspberries, "Tonight"

It's been a whirlwind and borderline just plain electric past couple weeks of semi-nonstop traveling and assorted whatnot with stops in San Diego, Los Angeles (Home of the Stars), back to New York, and now Washington, DC for the DC Comedyfest.

While I was in Los Angeles, I visited with my friend John, who showed me this awesome Raspberries video on YouTube, the popular website on the Internet. I'm a pretty huge Raspberries fan and- being from Cleveland and all (where the Raspberries are from)- I have an extra special soft spot for them. Here they are performing their excellent song "Tonight." It's awesome on many levels and their live performance is pretty flawless.

In related news, a few years ago my friend Phil took me to an Indians game at what was then known as Jacobs Field and I saw Raspberries' mainman Eric Carmen getting off the elevator to the club seats. Even then his hair looked incredible. Great songs, great hair, Indians fan- we could all learn a lot from this man.

Dave Hill