All Sorts Of Stuff

It is Monday morning and they are serving up another hot one out there. I am doing laundry, eating cereal, and pretty much taking over as usual. Yesterday I had my last performance in the popular play “Iowa ‘08”, which was discussed in some detail a post or two ago. It was really fun doing the play and I think I got slightly better as an actor-typer person in the process. I learned to talk louder and enunciate and stuff too, which is a skill I can use in almost every area of my life I am thinking.

After doing the play mentioned in the previous paragraph this past Friday night, I headed over to Joe’s Pub to host an event called “ROFL!” As hinted at in the title, the show had something to do with the Internet. More specifically it is- to quote the official Joe’s Pub website description- “the very best of the internet, lovingly hand-picked by eight of America’s most-respected blogger types for maximum freshness and optimum awesomeness.” It goes on from there. Anyway, I wasn’t really sure what to expect but it ended up being good times and was surprisingly well-attended. Banjo master Curtis Eller was my musical sidekick for the show and he was great. He plays the banjo, sings, has a great mustache, and kicks his feet really high in the air mid-song. In short, the full package.

The “ROFL!” show was not without controversy as at one point early in the show (which lasted a whopping 2 1/2 hours- partially thanks to my rambling- I should point out), I dropped my beer not-so-accidentally and shattered my glass onstage in the process, something that the Joe’s Pub staff understandably didn’t seem all that psyched about. I cleaned it up myself and everything seemed alright in the end though. I hope they have me back. It’s a classy joint. There is a piano and everything.

The rest of my weekend was spent pursuing the arts as I often do and also drinking and eating stuff, which is usually what I’m doing when not pursuing the arts or sleeping. Now it’s Monday, Tom Snyder has left us, and the word is full of possibilities.

In other news, on Friday I was walking down West 4th Street in my scenic West Village neighborhood when I saw an attractive redheaded woman pedaling toward me out of the corner of my eye. I looked up to see that it was none other than Hollywood’s Julianne Moore, whom you might remember from such films as “Boogie Nights” and that one “Silence of the Lambs” sequel that Jodie Foster didn’t want to do. Anyway, I like to act like I don’t care when starlets pass me on the street but sometimes- when the starlet is just right- I’m kind of a sucker for it. Especially if they are on a bicycle. That really takes it to the next level. Also, for the record, the photo above is also hanging in the pizza shop by my house. Apparently Julianne gets her pizza there. That's a lot of cleavage to showing off in a pizza place though. I'm just saying.

In still other news, above is an interview I did with the popular comedian Dave Attell. I admittedly didn’t do the best job interviewing Dave in this one, but- hey- maybe you’ll enjoy it anyway. Dave Attell is awesome though.

Finally, the photo above is me standing in front of a large poster of myself on Hudson street. Am I a douchebag or what? Also, as you can see, for some reason I tend to sweat profusely in a silver dollar-sized area located just above my gut whenever the temperature rises of 70 degrees. This is something I am curious to speak with a member of the medical community about.

Dave Hill

1936-2007

Dave Hill

I Am Totally In A Play, Dammit

Here is something interesting. I am totally in a play. It is called "Iowa ‘08", which is part of the the 4th Annual Ten Minute Play Festival at the Vineyard Theater (which is a totally reputable off-Broadway theater it is my understanding). This is particulary exciting to me since I have never been in a play before, which is something I try not to bring up too much to any of the other people involved with the play since they are all pros who have been on Broadway, Off-Broadway, and regional theater and stuff. It’s kind of intimidating actually- everyone is really talented and I just have to nod a lot and act like I know what’s going on when people throw around lingo like “half hour” and “curtain call” and stuff like that. I’m having a lot of fun though and hopefully I’m getting better at this acting business in the process.

As hinted at in the title, 4th Annual Ten Minute Play Festival is actually a series of ten-minute plays that combine to form one big magical play called "Iowa '08" that you should totally come see. There are shows on July 22 (which is today for all you calendar buffs), July 25, 26, 27, 28, and 29. You can get the full scoop on things here. And for your viewing pleasure, check out this commercial “Iowa ‘08,” the play that I am totally in like a motherfucker:

So yeah, totally come see this play or I will lose my shit, dammit.

Dave Hill

I Totally Have Cable Television

It is a Saturday afternoon and I finally have cable television. As you can probably imagine, I am pretty excited about it. I can’t wait to watch all those programs. Right now there is a show on the popular E! channel about rock star wives. If you’ve ever wondered how Tommy Shaw (the guitar player for Styx and Damn Yankees) and his wife keep it together, this is pretty much the show for you. I’m also glad to see that Vince Neil from Motley Crue finally found the right girl in wife #4. Guess who is starting to believe in love? This guy! I am pointing to myself right now in case you are wondering.

Okay, I just changed the channel. Now I’m seeing what all the fuss is about with the popular show “According to Jim.” Channel 11 on my Time Warner cable just happens to be serving up a heaping helping of L-A-F-F-S courtesy of Jim Belushi and that one girl who used to be on “Melrose Place.” I am totally getting it.

Now I am watching “The Panic Room” starring Hollywood’s Jodi Foster. As hinted at in the title, there is a room in this movie where Jodi Foster goes when she or any of her family members are in a panic. The room is bigger than my whole apartment. New York City- am I right or am I right? There is a kid who looks kind of like Macaulay Culkin in the movie too but it’s not him. I am curious as to how Macaulay would have handled this one (aside from adorably that is).

On channel 2 there is horse racing. Look at those fellas go. I’ve been to a couple horse races in real life and I have to say the excitement level is about the same whether you’re watching it at the track or here in my apartment where I’m not wearing pants. I am about to place a two dollar bet with myself, which I am just now realizing sounds like a euphemism.

Okay, now “According to Jim” is over and I’m watching “Friends,” the popular show on which Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry, David Schwimmer, and Matt LeBlanc are all friends and live in New York City, the same town in which I live. Sometimes I like to pretend that I am their neighbor only I have stuff to do and can’t come over right now. Ross and I seem to get along the best.

Dave Hill

Louis CK Interview And Then Other Interviews Besides That

Here is a video of me interviewing Louis CK. I didn't do that great of a job, but maybe you'll enjoy it on some level anyway. Or maybe not. No pressure. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if Louis really liked me all that much. Oh well, I love him just the same.

And here's an interview I did with comedy's Gabriel Iglesias. He was a nice fellow.

And while you're at it, maybe you'd like to watch this interview I did with comedy's Loni Love.

Okay, that is about it for now. I hope you are super.

Dave Hill

Bad Brains

I have been listening to the new Bad Brains album a bit lately. I so far don’t seem to be loving it as much as their early albums, but maybe that will change after repeated listenings. So far Dave says too much reggae. I can say with confidence it's at the very least very, very good. And no matter what, they still kick the crap out of 99.99% of all bands that have ever existed as far as I’m concerned. I remember the first time I heard them over twenty years ago they actually kind of scared me with their awesomeness. I was afraid to be left alone in a room with their music playing because I thought it might just leap out of the speakers and make a fist puppet out of me or something. Led Zeppelin is the only other band that’s made me feel that way. I remember hearing Led Zeppelin on my dad’s stereo when I was six or seven years old and knowing right away that they were total badasses above and beyond any other band I had ever heard before. I felt the same way the first time I heard the Bad Brains.

I saw Bad Brains live for the first time in 1988 at the Phantasy Theater in Lakewood, Ohio. They scared me then too, in a really good way. And since there were other people around, I wasn’t as concerned about that whole fist puppet thing. I’ve seen them a handful of other times since then and- even though lead singer H.R. seems to get nuttier and nuttier each time (the last time I saw them was at St. Andrew’s Hall in Detroit maybe five years ago and he sat in a chair holding a birdcage and a bag of garbage for the entire show, which was actually pretty genius the more I think about it)- they still rock balls. I unfortunately missed all their recent New York shows, but here are a few snippets from their recent Rocks Off concert cruise show plus an interview with the band by my friend Sara Schaefer. I hope you enjoy it so much.

Dave Hill

This Moment In Norwegian Black Metal History

I can't remember if I've ever posted this video here before, but either way it's worth checking out again and again. It's so incredible I'm about to have an aneurysm. Anyway, here is Immortal's video for "Call of the Wintermoon." Someday there will be entire college majors dedicated to the study of this video. It really does have something for everybody.

Dave Hill

Jim Gaffigan Interview

I can't remember if I posted this here before, so just to be safe I'll do it now. Here is an interview I did with comedy's Jim Gaffigan that is now available for you on the Internet. I hope you enjoy it so much.

In other news, an attendee of the nude dinner cruise mentioned in the previous entry, gives me a nice mention on her blog. Thanks, Selina- I am touched.

Dave Hill

I'll Have The Rump Roast

I never thought I would have opportunity to write a sentence like this and mean it, but last night I went on a nude dinner cruise. For real. I am doing a story for the popular public radio program Fair Game so I can’t go into too much detail right now otherwise it will, like, totally ruin the story for when it’s on the radio, but I can tell you that I did eat chicken marsala at sea with plenty of naked people all around me. I could see their hoo-has, choo-chas, butts, nuts, dongers, and everything. I took my shirt off but kept my pants on for the majority of the evening. That’s just how I roll. Anyway, I’ll let you know when the story airs. In the meantime, you can get a further taste of things here.

Dave Hill

The King Of Metal

In an effort to give a little something back to society, I have decided to school people on the matters of metal via the popular Metal Injection website. If you think you can handle it, click on the video above. And for even more excitement, go to my own page on the Metal Injection site, which is here and features several Dave-approved metal videos for your metal viewing pleasure.

Dave Hill

The Legless Masturbator And Other Topics

A lot of times in life you think you’ll never see a legless man sitting on the sidewalk and masturbating and then it totally happens and then you’re all like “Oh.” At least that’s how it happened with me anyway. I was walking down West 12th Street in the scenic West Village with a friend a couple days ago when we happened upon a legless man sitting on the sidewalk next to his wheelchair. There seemed to be a bit of activity going on in his lap that we at first dismissed as definitely not jerking off. Then as we got closer and I was able to really get a good look at things and it became clear that he did in fact have his donger out and was really going to town. We quickened our pace as we passed him so as to avoid getting spackled on the ankles, but- nearly getting jizzed on aside- we were generally excited to see that- dammit- this town is BACK!

The above incident actually marks the second time I’ve seen someone masturbating in public here in the Big City. It really never gets old either. The other time was about four years ago while I was waiting in line to see my friend Mike perform at the Marquee on the Bowery. A man was leaving the bar below it and decided to just whip it out in broad daylight and have at it. It’s not something I would do myself (But don’t we all say that?), but there is something about the “can do” attitude of it all that I just can’t help but admire. The terrorists might be able to fly planes into our buildings, but they can’t keep us from livin’!

In other news, on Friday I saw the hit movie “Ratatouille” and really dug it despite my generally dark world view. I have been fighting the 3-D computer animation style for a long time (since the ‘90’s), but I finally gave in and I have to admit it’s pretty amazing what those computer folks can do. I did like how the end credits were done in more traditional-looking animation though. It was almost like they decided to throw me a bone or something.

Now- to help you get your Monday off to a fabulous start- I leave you with this pretty great video from Motorhead, one of the best bands ever. Whatever you do in life, if you just take a moment to approach things like you are in Motorhead you’ll be much better off. They are really onto something.

Dave Hill

Teenage Kicks

Here is a video for a great song by the Undertones, "Teenage Kicks." It's a great song for a Saturday (or any day really). I hope you enjoy it so much.

Dave Hill

Cleveland Invasion

Today I write to you from a coffee shop in scenic Cleveland where I am for a few days hanging out with my parents and whatnot. Yesterday we went to see the popular Cleveland Indians baseball team play against the Devil Rays team from Tampa Bay, Florida. The Indians wons 3-2 in a not-that-action-packed 8 1/2 innings. It was good times though. I ate a hot dog and some peanuts and they put my dad’s name on the scoreboard for his birthday, which was a source of great excitement for us and the 30,000 or so others in attendance (but mostly us).

Other than the above, I have mostly been sleeping and am hoping to see some friends before I head back to the Big City. On a side note, there is a really shitty acoustic coffee-shop version of U2’s “Pride (In the Name of Love)” playing from the coffee shop stereo as I type this. Some woman is singing it, trying to taking the song to the next level or some shit, like we’re gonna start crying from all the new meaning she is giving to the words. I am doing my best to keep it together.

In other news, I have been not drinking coffee or alcohol for the past week as part of a self-induced fog-lifting regimen I am trying out. I am hoping to go a couple weeks with this new, no-fun format and then really get back into coffee and alcohol full force again. It hasn’t been that hard though. Since I haven’t been drinking, I don’t need the coffee as much in the morning. And then to fill in the gaps, I just eat ice cream all the time. So I am becoming a fat, even-keeled, sober person this week. Some guys I knew growing up have started an ice cream company here in Cleveland called Mitchell’s Homemade Ice Cream and I ate a whole pint of that shit like a motherfucker the other day after drinking a Ben & Jerry’s milkshake (there is a Ben & Jerry’s store near my parents’ house) a few hours earlier. I’m hoping to pick up some more of the Mitchell’s stuff today. In an alternate universe, I would love to have my own ice cream company, so I am glad someone I know is living the dream for me. It's really great stuff too.

Anyway, so that about covers it in the Dave universe at the moment. I leave you with something very special:


Dave Hill